For cabbage rolls, I loosen the leaves in a pan of boiling water

Cabbage rolls are an autumn and winter dish for me: a big pan, a tomato sauce, and a smell of cabbage, onion and pepper all through the house while the evening gets dark outside. But the slow part isn't the filling, it's the leaves. I used to try to peel them off a raw cabbage, and they'd snap at the base or tear down the middle, and half of them ended up in soup because there was nothing left to roll.

Now I loosen them in hot water. The biggest pan I own goes on, about two-thirds full of water, and comes to the boil. With a sharp knife I cut deep around the core and lift it out in a cone, so nothing is holding the leaves on. The cabbage goes into the boiling water cut side up, and after a couple of minutes the outer leaves soften and come away on their own. I lift them out with a long fork or tongs, leave them in a colander to drain and wait for the next layer. Layer by layer, down to the small, tight heart.

This is the part where I'm careful. A whole cabbage in a full pan of boiling water is heavy, and when I turn it or lift a leaf, hot water and steam come with it. So the pan sits on a back ring with the handles turned in, I use tongs and a long fork, never my fingers, and nobody small is allowed near the hob while I'm doing it. The pan-and-steam part takes about fifteen minutes, and I don't wander off: boiling water is boiling water.

Once the leaves have cooled, I lay them on the board and shave the thick rib at the base flat with a knife, so the leaf rolls easily without cracking. Small and torn leaves don't go to waste: they line the bottom of the pan, so the rolls don't catch. The heart I shred finely into the sauce or keep for tomorrow's salad.

The filling is minced meat with rice and onion. I keep the raw mince in the fridge until I need it, on the bottom shelf, and wash my hands, the board and the bowl in hot soapy water once it's done. The rice I boil for five minutes, so it is half-cooked, drain it and spread it on a plate to cool quickly, and use it the same day. Rice that has been cooked and left warm is one of the things I never risk. I mix the mince with the rice, a grated onion, salt and pepper, put a spoonful at the base of each leaf, fold in the sides and roll it up tightly.

The rolls go into the pan seam side down, packed close together, on top of the small leaves. Over them goes a tomato sauce: a softened onion and carrot, a tin of chopped tomatoes and enough water or broth to almost cover them. Lid on, low heat, and about an hour of gentle simmering. Because the filling is raw meat, I don't guess when they're done. I cut the biggest roll in the middle: the filling should be steaming hot all the way through, with no pink left and the juices clear.

There are always more than we eat in one evening, and cabbage rolls are even better the next day. I cool what's left in a shallow dish and get it into the fridge within two hours, eat it within two days, and freeze a portion if we won't. When I reheat them, it's in the sauce, covered, until they are steaming hot right through, and only once.

Afterwards, every time, I think the same thing: the leaves bend like cloth, the rolls come out neat and even, one after another, and the whole job felt easier than it used to.

Cabbage rolls in tomato sauce. Serves 6 (about 14 rolls). About 2 hours. You need 1 large white cabbage, 500 g pork or beef mince, 100 g long-grain rice, 2 onions, 1 carrot, 400 g tin of chopped tomatoes, about 500 ml water or broth, 1 tbsp oil, salt, pepper. Core the cabbage and loosen the leaves in boiling water, a layer at a time; trim the ribs. Boil the rice for 5 minutes, drain and cool quickly. Mix the mince, rice, 1 grated onion, salt and pepper. Roll a spoonful in each leaf. Line the pan with small leaves, pack the rolls in seam side down. Soften the other onion and carrot in oil, add the tomatoes and water, pour over the rolls. Cover and simmer gently for about 1 hour, until the filling is steaming hot with no pink. Chill leftovers within 2 hours; eat within 2 days; reheat once until steaming hot.